Steve and I | Integrity has no need for rules

Besides just residing in Madrid, as a proper celebrator of life, travelling should be and has been one of my core occupations in the past months. In this blogpost, a collection of strange/funny/remarkable stories. Don’t try to find a connection or overarching plot between the stories. There is none.

Steve and I

One of my good friends in Tilburg, Thijs, has been studying in Rome for half a year and as flights from Madrid to Rome are ridiculously cheap, about 4 weeks ago, I set out to grasp some sense of what some call the most beautiful city in the world. This story however, is not about Rome.

Admitted, Rome was nice, beautiful, interesting, slightly drunk and the like but no. This story is about Steve Jobs. Steve and his biography accompanied me to Rome and back to Madrid and even from his deathbed, Steve still seems to influence mere mortals like myself.

The story about me and Steve starts when I set out to go back to Madrid. As I am a notorious absentminded person, I took extra care to leave in time which resulted in me sitting at the airport, gate 8, about 2,5 hours before departure. Luckily, the wait did not bother me. I had Steve and his stories about the Macintosh, the Ipod and the Iphone.

Unfortunately, I found out that the following equation seems to be as true as Newton’s laws of gravitation:

Luuk + Steve = absentmindness²

So, when I finally managed to release my thoughts from Steve, I looked up and… gone was my plane. I just had been sitting at the gate for 2,5 hours reading, not noticing that the boarding had commenced and thus had I missed my flight.

Consequences:

1. buying a new ticket with money I did not really have. 2. Spending a night outside in the rain/cold 3. Finishing my relationship with Steve by finishing the book.

Final conclusion:

Absentmindness² = Loss of money + miserable experiences.

Loss of money + miserable experiences = Disaster

Luuk + Steve = Disaster.

And so, Steve and I are done with.

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Integrity has no need for rules

Everything is for sale, or so I have heard. Well, news-flash: NOT TRUE.

I was in Rome. With my good friend Thijs. He and me like to chat, we chat a lot, about bullshit, profound bullshit or sometimes, even the meaning of life. This time, we were discussing one of our favorite profound bullshit topics: girls.

As it turned out, we needed to go to the toilet while still heaviliy engaged in profound bullshitness. On top of that, all toilets were occupied both girls and men’s while only the disabled toilet was free to use. So then, what do you do?

Exactly.

You enter the disabled-toilet together, continue your conversation and take turns in pie-ing while conversating. Sadly, we were barely in, until 2 firm knocks hit the toilet door.

After some initial hesitation, I opened the door and in he came: A typical Italian bouncer with too much muscles and too little brain. Mister Bouncer must have suspected us from engaging in homosexual activities which is why we were both fully dressed. Mister Bouncer probably also increased his level of angriness when he notices my pathetic attempt to hide behind the door.

Anyway, Mister Bouncer took us out with the clear message not to the entire the premises again. Luckily for me , Thijs has friends with money. A lot of money. And so the bribing started..

First attempt: blinking with eyes while make sure the female front men normally like to see was fully visible. Second attempt: All the above and a bottle of Wodka. Third attempt: All the above and another bottle of Wodka. Fourth attempt: All the above and threatening to leave with a rather large group of people.

All failed.

Mister no-brains Bouncer is unbribable. He was not for sale. An honest, honorable man.

Just like the beggar I encountered on the streets on New York barely a week ago. He did not supposedly lose his job or have 5 children starving to death. No. He was holding a sign saying:

‘Need money to buy weed. Why Lie?’

I gave him 5 dollars.

After all: ‘Integrity has no need for rules’